Its simply amazing how long I have gone without posting anything of significance on here. I feel like there are a hundred and two things that have been wonderful that have happened over the last few months...all things that I would love to have journalled so that I could look back years from now, and reread. But I haven't really written anything.

My life has been something of a blur over the course of this summer. Geoff and I, between the two of us, some together, some not, have been to close to ten different weddings. Still got a marathon number to go yet by the close of the year. Jim and Amanda...yours is up there. Also, friends Chris and Katie, cousin Haley (I don't know her fiance's name....that sucks...lol), friends Beth and Steve...and maybe friends Fellpell and Kyle. So crazy. I just sang in a wedding on Saturday. It went surprisingly well...the wedding of course, but the singing as well. I thought that I would choke while I was up there. But no. No choking.

Things with Geoff have been wonderful. He is such a light in my life. I love having him around. At the same time though....and to a degree, I feel bad about this...I am finding that the more and more time I spend with him, the less I want to. Not that I want him gone. I really do love him. I just need more space sometimes. I suppose its pretty normal. If he and I get married down the road, I really hope that he can get used to my need for time to myself. I think he'll be fine. He says he understands and expects it.

I've never met anyone like him. He is SO stinking consistent. I love it, b/c it totally balances me out. He's so scheduled. I am NOT. But I can see worth in it. He never falters in the way he cares for me. I hahlf expect things to go bad sometimes.....in the past, things have often ended up that way. But even til now....almost nine months going....and he still treats me like I am the most important person in his life. But what stands out there is that he is at the same time consistent with friends of his and mine....always someone that people love and trust.

Its been hard, increasingly, to keep our focus on the Lord. This relatiopnship thing is not easy....it takes tons of communication, and lots and lots of work. I wan't sure what I was getting into when all of this started. For the most part, its been a wonderful experience. I have my moments of feeling like I need a getaway...from him....from everyone. I think I do need to do that at some point...but not a getaway with other people....I need total seclusion....not for too long. But just long enough where I can reflect on all that the Lord has blessed me with in my life, and long enough to think and seek God for where He wants me to go. I don't want my head to be so cluttered by the whirlwind of emotions and stuff going on around me (this summer hahs FLOWN) that I get wrapped up in things, and miss out on God's call. I want to be ready to do what He asks. I want my heart to be ruled by Him, and not by Geoff, or family, or friends. I love these people....and they deserve the best that my heart can offer. But FIRST must come my Jesus. And I haven' been paying close attention to that this summer.





As a random reference point, I'm in Hilton Head (Island) for vacation with Geoff's family this week. Its been a wonderful time of getting to know everyone better. I so much enjoy his family. I always wanted to be in a relationship with someone whose family was welcoming. They are, to the core. I always wanted that. I love my family. Very much. But my parents are divorced. My sisters are strange. Lol. It runs in our blood. And I could never hope for simple things like a meal with my mom and dad and family and Geoff. Its not us. People are just in and out all of the time. There isn't a whole lot of family time, unless preplanned. Thankfully Geoff isn't phased by it. Once upon a time, I used to be. I used to feel sorry for myself, and the family status. I used to grip it and think that it was the molding of my life....maybe something of a backbone....the divorce, my emotions being out of whack...all that. And maybe at one point, my family situation DID mold me and my worldview....but, I am totally unbound now. I'm not hurt or held back by it. The Lord is so good to me.

Alright.....I do need to get off of here....I have a 3D puzzle that I swore I would try to get done by Friday....I am not so sure that its gonna happen.....I just started it today...and its at least 1000 pieces. Here's hopin though. (I love puzzles.....such stress relievers.) I think that God put that as such an incredible idea in someone's head. Thanks Jesus.